Damn this DJ made my day.

DJ Steve Porter?  I never heard of him either... until today.

Doesn't this video prove how stupid autotune is?  That any untalented idiot could use it?

Not that I'm calling the "Sham Wow" guy untaleneted.

And another one for sports fans that was equally entertaining.

There have already been a thousand posts written complaining about the absence about Saigon's long overdue debut, "The Greatest Story Never Told".  There are thousands more would-be journalists and critics who have made much ado about the ironic title of said debut as they not-so-cleverly comment on the nature of self-fulfilling prophecy.  They say he deserves it for daring to compare his album to "Illmatic" before it even sees the light of day.

I'm guilty too.  And in my two decades of being a hip hop fan, I can't recall any album I have anticipated for going on 5 years.  I just want the damn thing.  And as is my nature to wax nostalgic about things that haven't even happened yet, I find myself piecing together whatever fragments of this album I have at my disposal and compulsively listening to them ad nauseum.  Call me neurotic.  Call me obsessive.  Call me pathological.  Call me any combination of these adjectives and whatever else you can come up with.  But if you can relate in any way, or are merely curious as to what can lead to such a condition, I present to you my half-assed rendition of "The Greatest Story Never Told"...

"T.G.S.N.T (The Rewind Effect Edition)".  (Click to download)

Tracklist:

1) JBTV Snippets.

I'm told Just Blaze has removed JBTV from Youtube.  But at the time, he had put together a video and dropped teaser samples of TGSNT throughout.  From what I can tell , these snippets are of "The Invitation", "Friends", the title track, a track I can't identify, and "The War".

2) "Come On Baby" Remix.

I personally like Saigon's verses on the original version better.  But I can see why this made the tracklist.  I mean come on, it's Jay-Z.

3) "The War".

Or at least I think that's what it is.  Judging by the hook at the end.  I think this is one of the tracks Just Blaze post on his blog but I can't remember.

4) "Preacher".

I had heard an early version of this song had dropped on a mixtape.  But I had a hell of a time tracking it down.  I finally did about a year and a half ago.  Supposedly they have updated this song for the final version.  And who the hell is DJ Neptune?

5) "Believe It".

The song I bitched about before.  The perfect single for Saigon that Atlantic did not get behind.  The song that should've been Saigon's "Live Your Life" or "All of the Above".  Oh well.  At least we got to hear it.

6) "Chilly Boom".

This song no longer seems to be listed on the final track list.  It was originally.  And it's a good song.  So I included it here.

7) "Just Blaze Meets Saigon".

Another song that doesn't seem to be on the final track list.  Unless it has been renamed.  This song dropped on the TGSNT prequel, "Moral of the Story".  It's Saigon on a hot Just Blaze track so it had be included here.

8) "Pain in my Life".

Saigon's ill-fated first single.  I guess that's what he gets for trying to go against the grain and be positive.  It is not my favorite Sai joint... but still a solid, positive song and still listed as a bonus track.

So there you have it.  How much longer do I have to wait?  No word from Sai or Just in awhile.  I guess I'll go back to just bumping this for awhile.  Dammit.

My 10 favorite rhyme spitters ever: Kool G. Rap edition.

In no particular order, I present to you my ten favorite rhyme spitters of all time.  No, they may not necessarily have created the best songs or albums (some have but that is irrelevant to this discussion).  These are just the MC's who, verse-for-verse, I have enjoyed listening to most from a purely lyrical/flow-wise/delivery-wise perspective.  Think the Vince Carters of MC'ing.  And with all that considered, next up is...

Kool G. Rap (circa '92).

Let's take it back to "The Symphony" for a second.  Amongst old hip hop heads, maybe the debate will forever linger: who stole the show, Kane or G. Rap?  Kane with his slick lyrics and delivery, or G. Rap the gritty multisyllabic monster? (I like Masta Ace and Craig G. as much as anyone but if you said either of those, sorry, you're wrong).

It seems that Big Daddy Kane gets slightly more acclaim as the "star" of Marley's Juice Crew.  But I was always a bigger Kool G. Rap fan.  For the younger heads, Jay-Z was to Kane as Nas was to G. Rap.  Kane may have had more of the limelight but G. Rap was just pure hip hop for hip hop's sake.  The King Asiatic kind of lost me when he went the whole "Taste of Chocolate" route.  Kool G. Rap, on the other hand, morphed into a Mafia Don.  And being that I liked my hip hop strictly grimy back then, I was instantly hooked.  Yeah, he might've made occasional Al Capone references here and there prior to that... but on his third and final album with DJ Polo, he fully embraced it.  

From the sinister style of beats to the gritty story telling to his awe-inspiring gymnastics of syllables and wordplay, Kool G. Rap truly was the pioneer of Mafia rap.  For those that don't know Escobar, Lex Diamonds, Tony Starks, and a million other mafioso aliases owe a huge debt to this man.  And as ignorant as the music might have seemed at the time, to me (and many others), it was simply mesmerizing.  Not to mention his distinctive lisp only added to the character he played in this cinematic whirlwind of drugs, guns, and money.

The thing was these future stars of hip hop not only borrowed G. Rap's taste in movies.  They all looked up to him as an MC to be emulated also.  As much as Rakim is credited with developing the modern style of multisyllabic rhyming, Kool G. Rap should be given just as much due.  He proved as much on his previous albums.  With "Live or Let Die", he just put a new stylized twist on things.

Why did I only mention one year?  Truth be told, once Rae, Nas, and the rest decided they wanted to play Goodfellas too, they simply did it better.  They took it to another level.  G. Rap, meanwhile, started to sound dated by the very style he birthed.  Don't get me wrong, he could still spit with the best of them.  But frankly, the production that backed him just didn't pack the same punch as his progeny.  Let's face it... Rae had RZA, Nas had Premo, Trackmasters, etc., G. Rap had (let's double check the credits)... T Ray and Naughty Shorts?  Okay, wait, he did have one bonafide classic... "Fast Life".  But maybe that ended up being a passing of the torch to a in-his-prime Nas featured on the song.

Anyways, "Live and Let Die" will always go down as one of the Mafia hip hop classics to me.  In the same way you would mention "Goodfellas" when talking about "Godfather", I will hold his album in the same class as "Cuban Linx" and "It Was Written".  As a matter of fact, G. Rap's album may actually be the one closest to Coppola's masterpiece as it was the one that really set the precedent for the rest.  So for that, I kneel and kiss the ring.

The Evidence.

"On the Run".  "I got a job with the Mob making G's/Doing some pick ups, deliveries, and transporting ki's..."

"Edge of Sanity".  "See I'm irrelevant to 'Help Wanted' signs/And they wonder why n***as commit crimes..."

"Ill Street Blues".  "Ready to put some work in/We're not a lazy crew/We'll do a job or tow/But yo the man can't even stick me with some Crazy Glue..."

"Two to the Head".  "See where I come from the crime rate only rises/The murderers disguise in all ages shapes and sizes/B****es picked up and d**ked up/N****s they getting stuck up/Give up what you got or get your a** shot the f**k up..."

My 10 favorite rhyme spitters ever: Mos Def edition.

In no particular order, I present to you my ten favorite rhyme spitters of all time.  No, they may not necessarily have created the best songs or albums (some have but that is irrelevant to this discussion).  These are just the MC's who, verse-for-verse, I have enjoyed listening to most from a purely lyrical/flow-wise/delivery-wise perspective.  Think the Vince Carters of MC'ing.  And with all that considered, next up is...

Mos Def (circa '99-2000).

I truly believe had Mos followed up his Black Star album and first solo joint with another classic, he would be in my top five, dead or alive.  Legend even has it that the one and only Mr. Iovine told Mos that if he could deliver another album of the caliber of "Black on Both Sides", he would "take him to the moon".

Mos had a way of flowing that sounded so effortless, even non-hip hop heads liked it (check this entry of the always brilliant blog Stuff White People Like for further proof).  In fact, he eventually evolved (or devolved, depending on your perspective) into a badge of cool for the hipster crowd... before the phrase "hipster" was even coined.

But where hipsters embraced Mos for his aura of bohemian-hip-hop-chic, rap fans appreciated the purity of his Native-Tongues-esque style combined with his damn near unparalleled ability to put words together in a way few could do.  Call him conscious or backpacker if you must... but if he was spitting, we were listening.  Talib, his Black Star counterpart, may have had the impressive metaphors or vocabulary.  But Mos' style painted pictures.

Then, alas, he decided he wanted to be a singer.  Or a rock star.  And go back to acting.  Yes, I liked "Umi Says".  And "The Italian Job" was entertaining.  But let's face it.  When he was straight spitting on a hip hop beat, he was a god.

It seems like with his new material, he is going back to his roots and give hip hop fans what they really need.  Which is not another movie with Bruce Willis.  Let's just hope not so much time has passed that it's too late.

The Evidence.

"Definition".  "From the first to the last of it/Delivery is passionate/The whole and not the half of it/Vocab and not the math of it..."

"Respiration".  THE WHOLE DAMN FIRST VERSE.  Brilliant.

"B-Boy Document '99".  "It's the high powered original/B-boy traditional/Raw base material/Crooklyn individual..."

"Travellin' Man".  "'Cause this thing called rhymin' no different from coal mining/We all on assignment to unearth the diamond..."

"Hip Hop".  "Hip hop will simply amaze/Praise you/Pay you/Do whatever you say do/But black it can't save you..."

"Brooklyn".  "Thugs mobbin' it/Form partnership/Increase armorment/Street pharmacist/Deep consequence when you seek sleek ornaments..."

I miss Slim Shady.

Okay, so the new album is out.  And everywhere all over the world, thousands of writers (and hundreds of thousands of bloggers) are already, ad nauseam, proclaiming the brilliant return of or deriding the ungraceful fall of the one and only Marshall Mathers.  So in case you're one review away from slitting your own wrists, I'll just focus my attention on one point.  

I definitely don't hate the album... but I was, at the very least, underwhelmed.  Throughout "Relapse", we seem to get Marshall-Mathers-era content, Eminem-Show-era flow, and bits of the reviled Encore-era delivery.  Save for one track.  On the final song, "Underground", we get a glimpse of what I had personally been anticipating for the last half decade, the return of Slim Shady.

It is all the more frustrating because, strictly off the strength of that one track, Eminem proves he still has it.  The skills that made him the respected MC to begin with... and set him apart from the Vanilla Ices, the Kains, the Asher Roths, and every other white MC who was thrown at us by the industry.  And in some ways, it seems as if Eminem did it intentionally.  Maybe just to lift a middle finger to all the naysayers and hip hop snobs such as myself... who claim he fell off, that he had become the very gimmick he had been mocking since the beginning of his career.  But the whole song still screams old school, classic Slim Shady.  Apart from the song itself, it is preceded by a Steve Berman skit, opened by his traditional "A lot of people ask me..." intro (a la "Still Don't Give a F**k and "Criminal"), and followed by the triumphant return of Ken Kaniff. Coincidence?  I think not.

With "Relapse 2" supposedly to follow, what I would like to believe is that this is an intro to the second disc.  Wasn't there supposed to be a collab with Premo in there somewhere?  Anyways, call me Stan, but I'm crossing my fingers and still hoping Slim Shady is back.

My favorite rhyme spitters ever: Ice Cube edition.

In no particular order, I present to you my ten favorite rhyme spitters of all time.  No, they may not necessarily have created the best songs or albums (some have but that is irrelevant to this discussion).  These are just the MC's who, verse-for-verse, I have enjoyed listening to most from a purely lyrical/flow-wise/delivery-wise perspective.  Think the Vince Carters of MC'ing.  And with all that considered, next up is...

ICE CUBE (circa '88-'92).

Back when people used to believe rappers really did what they said on wax, this former architectural student personified America's definition of the "scary ass rapper".  He had the sneer, the curse words, and FBI threats to back it up.  Not to mention lyrically fronted a crew who dared incorporate a vilified ethnic slur as a part of their group name.

But beyond all that, Cube just delivered his lyrics in a way that made you believe what he said.  Throughout his first group album and subsequent solo efforts (well, at least the first few and the EP), he convinced you he was the true gangsta's gangsta, the hood's political commentator, the prophet of the L.A. riots, and the most overzealous Muslim you had ever seen.  

These days, you're more likely to see a suburban family of four in a minivan on their way to see Cube at their local multiplex than you are to hear a '64 Impala on 'lo 'lo's cruising Crenshaw Boulevard bumping his latest album.  But at least for those four years (I'm personally not the biggest fan of "Lethal Injection" but I guess you can make it five years by throwing that in there), Cube had an unprecedented run as an MC that is nearly unmatched in hip hop history.  Not only did he make compelling music.  He set trends and constantly grew as an artist from album to album.  He never settled for the status quo.  He tore right through that map of Compton on his first video and kept on stompin'.

I miss the old Ice Cube but I can't front on his recent success as an actor.  My only regrets I blame on the shady practices of the business.  Could you imagine what NWA's second album would have been like with Cube around?  While Cube's falling out with his former group produced entertaining material ("No Vaseline" is still one of the greatest diss records of all time), I would've traded it all in to hear Amerikkka's Most Wanted Cube on Efil4Zaggin Dre beats for just a few songs.  And it seemed like we came oh-so-close when Cube made his cameo in the "Let Me Ride" video and we were promised "Helter Skelter" on the "Doggystyle" insert.  Well, I guess we had "Natural Born Killaz".  Then we were teased once again with the proposed reunion of NWA.  But after the lukewarm response to "Chin Check" and  "Hello", the plans were quickly axed. (I've also heard "D**k Tease" from the "Laugh Now Cry Later" sessions was produced by Dre but I've never had that confirmed).  Since Cube is strictly on the independent tip now when it comes to music, I guess we'll never get to hear a Dre/Cube album.

As it stands, Cube could never release a song again and his place in hip-hop history (not to mention music history in general) would be more than cemented.  So get that money movie, Cube, and thanks for the memories.  A lot of suburban kids owe their entire knowledge of the Compton hood to you.

The Evidence.

"Dope Man". "To be a dopeman/you must qualify/don't get high off your own supply..."

"The Grand Finale".  "Muthaf**kas I'll slaughter/Blow 'em out the water/Word to me/F**k the father..."

"The N***a Ya Love To Hate".  "Kickin' s**t called street knowledge/Why more n***as in the pen than in college?"

"Jackin' For Beats".  "Gimme that beat fool/It's a full time jack move..."

"A Bird in the Hand".  "I'll never get love again/But blacks are too f**king broke to be Republicans..."

"Steady Mobbin'".  "Rather be judged by twelve than carried by six..."

"When Will They Shoot?".  "They killed JFK in '63/So what the f**k you think they'll do to me?"

"We Had To Tear This Muthaf**ka Up".  "I told you it would happen and you heard it/Read it/And all you could call me was anti-Semetic..."

Not from Houston, but I rap a lot...

Taking a momentary break from my "favorite rhymes spitters" posts, I found this interesting thread on SOHH.  I understand people can hide under the anonymity of the internet and claim to be whoever they want... but this sounds legit.  Regardless, this is an entertaining thread...

"Ask a former Rap-A-Lot employee anything..."

When I first started getting into hip-hip (late 80's/early 90's), I liked my hip hop violent, nihilistic, and controversial as possible.  So it goes without saying I immediately took a liking to the Geto Boys and Rap-A-Lot artists.  And while hip hop always feuded on a bi-coastal level, this independent powerhouse in Houston were making their own brand of raw music on its own terms.  In the process, they pioneered styles that both coasts would liberally borrow from in years to come.

Production-wise alone, I always felt the East Coast owed a huge debt to RAL.  A few a examples...

Geto Boys, "City Under Siege".

Lil Kim, "No Time".

Geto Boys, "No Nuts No Glory".

State Property, "No Glory".

Geto Boys, "Six Feet Deep".

Cam'Ron, "Hey Ma".

Anyways, I understand producers use the same samples all the time.  But I always felt RAL were ahead of their time in the way they used soul samples.  And from a lyrical standpoint, Scarface had suicidal tendencies on record before Biggie ever dropped.  Ganksta Nip had horrorcore on lock before the Gravediggaz were around.  J. Prince was the original independent label don before Master P., Baby, or Suge Knight has even conceived their labels.  Countless artists have named Scarface as one of their favorite rappers and biggest influences ever.  I could go on and on.

My point being, it's always been a favorite pastime of hip hop to sh*t on the South... so it's about high time we paid our respects.